"Mister" Fred Rogers 1928-2003
Feb. 27th, 2003 10:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
muscadineCNN Obituary
TV personality & producer, minister & neighbor, composer & musician, writer & guru...truly, Mister Rogers, there was only one person in the world like you.
Mister Rogers' Neighborhood
Family Communications
Presbyterian Today article on Rogers from 1998
On people:
There's only one person in the world like you. If you think about it for a moment, there has never been...and there never will be-in the history of the earth-another person just like you.
As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has—or ever will have—something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.
We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It's easy to say 'It's not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.' Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.
If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.
I feel the greatest gift we can give to anybody is the gift of our honest self.
Everybody longs to be loved. And the greatest thing we can do is to let somebody know that they are loved and capable of loving.
Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like "struggle." To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now--and to go on caring even through times that may bring us pain.
Something we all need in order to feel the fullness of life: It's not only a sense that we belong on our planet, but also that we belong in other people's lives—that we are loved, lovable, and capable of loving.
Little by little we human beings are confronted with situations that give us more and more clues that we aren't perfect.
Relationships are like dances in which people try to find whatever happens to be the mutual rhythm in their lives.
We'd all like to feel self-reliant and capable of coping with whatever adversity comes our way, but that's not how most human beings are made. It's my belief that the capacity to accept help is inseparable from the capacity to give help when our turn comes to be strong.
I recently learned that in an average lifetime a person walks about sixty-five thousand miles. That's two and half times around the world. I wonder where your steps will take you. I wonder how you'll use the rest of the miles you're given.
It's not the honors and the prizes and the fancy outsides of life which ultimately nourish our souls. It's the knowing that we can be trusted, that we never have to fear the truth, that the bedrock of our very being is good stuff. That's what makes growing humanity the most potentially glorious enterprise on earth.
You know, you don't have to look like everybody else to be acceptable and to feel acceptable.
On feelings:
Feelings are "mentionable," and whatever is "mentionable" can be more manageable. Whether we're children or adults, adding to our emotional vocabulary can often add to our ability to cope with what we're feeling. Using words to describe what's inside helps remind us that what we're experiencing is human...and mentioning our feelings to others can make those feelings more manageable.
Of course, I get angry. Of course, I get sad. I have a full range of emotions. I also have a whole smorgasbord of ways of dealing with my feelings. That is what we should give children. Give them ... ways to express their rage without hurting themselves or somebody else. That's what the world needs.
People have said "Don't cry" to other people for years and years, and all it has ever meant is "I'm too uncomfortable when you show your feelings: Don't cry." I'd rather have them say, "Go ahead and cry. I'm here to be with you."
When you combine your own intuition with a sensitivity to other people's feelings and moods, you may be close to the origins of valuable human attributes such as generosity, altruism, compassion, sympathy, and empathy.
I have a very modulated way of dealing with my anger. I have always tried to understand the other person and invariably I've discovered that somebody who rubs you the wrong way has been rubbed the wrong way many times.
I'm proud of you for the times you've said "yes" when all it meant was extra work for you and seemingly helpful to only somebody else. I'm proud of you for the times you've said "no" when all it seemed to mean was a loss of pleasure yet eventually supported the growth of somebody else and yourself. I'm proud of you for the times you came in second, or third, or fourth, but what you did was the best you had ever done. I'm proud of you for standing for something you believed in-something that wasn't particularly popular but something which assured the rights of someone less fortunate than you. I'm proud of you for anything you can think of that allows you to feel proud of yourself.
Often, problems are knots with many strands, and looking at those strands can make a problem seem different.
On children:
Please think of the children first. If you ever have anything to do with their entertainment, their food, their toys, their custody, their childcare, their health care, their education—listen to the children, learn about them, learn from them. Think of the children first.
Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.
Young children sometimes look sheepish when they confide in us, as though they already suspect there's something amiss in their interpretation of the world; and have you noticed how often older children, even teenagers, will start a confidence with a question like "Promise you won't laugh if I tell you?"
Whatever we do to show our children we love them, nothing can replace times when we give them our complete attention. I believe that the children who have learned that there will be such times for them are the ones who are at least likely to demand it and to compete for it.
We have all been children and have had children's feelings...but many of us have forgotten. We've forgotten what it's like not to be able to reach the light switch. We've forgotten a lot of the monsters that seemed to live in our room at night. Nevertheless, those memories are still there, somewhere inside us.
On raising & teaching children:
If the day ever came when we were able to accept ourselves and our children exactly as we and they are, then, I believe, we would have come very close to an ultimate understanding of what "good" parenting means. It's part of being human to fall short of that total acceptance—and often far short. But one of the most important gifts a parent can give a child is the gift of that child's uniqueness.
Many mothers feel severely pressured these days. They often feel like they're falling short in one part, if not in several parts, of their lives. They often feel like they're failures. Well, people aren't failures when they're doing the best they can. Our performance doesn't have to be measured against anyone else's—just against our own abilities to cope.
We need to remember that children are trying, too; trying to understand their feelings and their world, trying to please the people they love, trying to grow. When grownups and children are trying together, just about anything can be possible.
If I were looking for a child-care provider, I'd start with a short tryout. Then I'd listen to what he or she could tell me about my child. Does the account of their time together suggest alertness, interest, and those all-important three Cs: caring, confidence, and common sense?
I do think that young children can spot a phony a mile away.
To grow into builders and enlighteners, children need to find healthy ways to express who they are and what they're feeling. And, I think of music as one language that can be extremely helpful to such expression. Through music, we can deal with our thoughts and feelings: those interior things that really matter to us.
On TV/media:
I got into television because I hated it so. And I thought there was there's some way of using this fabulous instrument to be of nurture to those who would watch and listen.
I believe that those of us who are the producers and purveyors of television-or video games or newspapers or any mass media-I believe that we are the servants of this nation.
I have really never considered myself a TV star. I always thought I was a neighbor who just came in for a visit.
We need desperately, I feel, a noncommercial alternative to what commercialism is trying to do to us. I'm not for censorship, but I'm certainly for self-censorship when it comes to producing or purveying products to America's children. I think that for people who make anything for children, their first thought should be: Would I want my child to see, hear or touch this? And if the answer is no, just don't make it.
Silence is becoming more and more of a luxury. I'd encourage everyone to have more quiet time.
TV personality & producer, minister & neighbor, composer & musician, writer & guru...truly, Mister Rogers, there was only one person in the world like you.
Mister Rogers' Neighborhood
Family Communications
Presbyterian Today article on Rogers from 1998
On people:
There's only one person in the world like you. If you think about it for a moment, there has never been...and there never will be-in the history of the earth-another person just like you.
As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has—or ever will have—something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.
We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It's easy to say 'It's not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.' Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.
If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.
I feel the greatest gift we can give to anybody is the gift of our honest self.
Everybody longs to be loved. And the greatest thing we can do is to let somebody know that they are loved and capable of loving.
Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like "struggle." To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now--and to go on caring even through times that may bring us pain.
Something we all need in order to feel the fullness of life: It's not only a sense that we belong on our planet, but also that we belong in other people's lives—that we are loved, lovable, and capable of loving.
Little by little we human beings are confronted with situations that give us more and more clues that we aren't perfect.
Relationships are like dances in which people try to find whatever happens to be the mutual rhythm in their lives.
We'd all like to feel self-reliant and capable of coping with whatever adversity comes our way, but that's not how most human beings are made. It's my belief that the capacity to accept help is inseparable from the capacity to give help when our turn comes to be strong.
I recently learned that in an average lifetime a person walks about sixty-five thousand miles. That's two and half times around the world. I wonder where your steps will take you. I wonder how you'll use the rest of the miles you're given.
It's not the honors and the prizes and the fancy outsides of life which ultimately nourish our souls. It's the knowing that we can be trusted, that we never have to fear the truth, that the bedrock of our very being is good stuff. That's what makes growing humanity the most potentially glorious enterprise on earth.
You know, you don't have to look like everybody else to be acceptable and to feel acceptable.
On feelings:
Feelings are "mentionable," and whatever is "mentionable" can be more manageable. Whether we're children or adults, adding to our emotional vocabulary can often add to our ability to cope with what we're feeling. Using words to describe what's inside helps remind us that what we're experiencing is human...and mentioning our feelings to others can make those feelings more manageable.
Of course, I get angry. Of course, I get sad. I have a full range of emotions. I also have a whole smorgasbord of ways of dealing with my feelings. That is what we should give children. Give them ... ways to express their rage without hurting themselves or somebody else. That's what the world needs.
People have said "Don't cry" to other people for years and years, and all it has ever meant is "I'm too uncomfortable when you show your feelings: Don't cry." I'd rather have them say, "Go ahead and cry. I'm here to be with you."
When you combine your own intuition with a sensitivity to other people's feelings and moods, you may be close to the origins of valuable human attributes such as generosity, altruism, compassion, sympathy, and empathy.
I have a very modulated way of dealing with my anger. I have always tried to understand the other person and invariably I've discovered that somebody who rubs you the wrong way has been rubbed the wrong way many times.
I'm proud of you for the times you've said "yes" when all it meant was extra work for you and seemingly helpful to only somebody else. I'm proud of you for the times you've said "no" when all it seemed to mean was a loss of pleasure yet eventually supported the growth of somebody else and yourself. I'm proud of you for the times you came in second, or third, or fourth, but what you did was the best you had ever done. I'm proud of you for standing for something you believed in-something that wasn't particularly popular but something which assured the rights of someone less fortunate than you. I'm proud of you for anything you can think of that allows you to feel proud of yourself.
Often, problems are knots with many strands, and looking at those strands can make a problem seem different.
On children:
Please think of the children first. If you ever have anything to do with their entertainment, their food, their toys, their custody, their childcare, their health care, their education—listen to the children, learn about them, learn from them. Think of the children first.
Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.
Young children sometimes look sheepish when they confide in us, as though they already suspect there's something amiss in their interpretation of the world; and have you noticed how often older children, even teenagers, will start a confidence with a question like "Promise you won't laugh if I tell you?"
Whatever we do to show our children we love them, nothing can replace times when we give them our complete attention. I believe that the children who have learned that there will be such times for them are the ones who are at least likely to demand it and to compete for it.
We have all been children and have had children's feelings...but many of us have forgotten. We've forgotten what it's like not to be able to reach the light switch. We've forgotten a lot of the monsters that seemed to live in our room at night. Nevertheless, those memories are still there, somewhere inside us.
On raising & teaching children:
If the day ever came when we were able to accept ourselves and our children exactly as we and they are, then, I believe, we would have come very close to an ultimate understanding of what "good" parenting means. It's part of being human to fall short of that total acceptance—and often far short. But one of the most important gifts a parent can give a child is the gift of that child's uniqueness.
Many mothers feel severely pressured these days. They often feel like they're falling short in one part, if not in several parts, of their lives. They often feel like they're failures. Well, people aren't failures when they're doing the best they can. Our performance doesn't have to be measured against anyone else's—just against our own abilities to cope.
We need to remember that children are trying, too; trying to understand their feelings and their world, trying to please the people they love, trying to grow. When grownups and children are trying together, just about anything can be possible.
If I were looking for a child-care provider, I'd start with a short tryout. Then I'd listen to what he or she could tell me about my child. Does the account of their time together suggest alertness, interest, and those all-important three Cs: caring, confidence, and common sense?
I do think that young children can spot a phony a mile away.
To grow into builders and enlighteners, children need to find healthy ways to express who they are and what they're feeling. And, I think of music as one language that can be extremely helpful to such expression. Through music, we can deal with our thoughts and feelings: those interior things that really matter to us.
On TV/media:
I got into television because I hated it so. And I thought there was there's some way of using this fabulous instrument to be of nurture to those who would watch and listen.
I believe that those of us who are the producers and purveyors of television-or video games or newspapers or any mass media-I believe that we are the servants of this nation.
I have really never considered myself a TV star. I always thought I was a neighbor who just came in for a visit.
We need desperately, I feel, a noncommercial alternative to what commercialism is trying to do to us. I'm not for censorship, but I'm certainly for self-censorship when it comes to producing or purveying products to America's children. I think that for people who make anything for children, their first thought should be: Would I want my child to see, hear or touch this? And if the answer is no, just don't make it.
Silence is becoming more and more of a luxury. I'd encourage everyone to have more quiet time.
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no subject
Date: 2003-02-27 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-27 03:56 pm (UTC)It is very, very sad.