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muscadineI'd like to hear your opinions on the writing of Tertullian, Augustine, Aquinas, with special regard to sexual morality.
Well, I have to say up front that I have not read extensively of Tertullian, Augustine, or Aquinas. Partly because traditional Baptists aren't too big on the Church Fathers or Natural Law, being more concerned with individual conscience than tradition, so I wasn't exposed to it growing up. Partly because by the time I was exposed to the ideas behind Natural Law-styled arguments, I had already formed my own ideas concerning a sexual ethic, and those arguments just didn't speak to that ethic or the world I live in.
As I recall, Tertullian is focused on monogamy to the point of believing remarriage after being widowed is wrong. Whereas Augustine & Aquinas pretty much say sex for any purpose other than procreation (even within a monogamous marital relationship) is serious sin. The root for all three of their beliefs on sexuality/marriage are based in the idea that sexuality is of the flesh and thus inherently tending towards sin, set in opposition to the spirit which strives towards holiness. Whereas I believe sexuality to be inherently part of one's spirit. So while it can be used in damaging ways, it is inherently a good.
So, basically, since I don't agree on a foundational level, I don't find their views on sexual morality very...relevant.
Was there a point at which you realised you were gay and you had a problem accepting that in conjunction with being Christian, or didn't you ever have an issue accepting both as nonconflicting states of being?
Oh, yes, definitely there has been a...tension between my Christian background and my sexuality since I realized I was attracted to the same sex. To this day, in a way, though I would say now that sexuality is only one rather small aspect of the larger picture, in terms of the tensions I experience. I don't see how it could be any other way, considering my religious background.
In high school I dealt with this tension by repressing my sexuality, writing it off as a phase, and often praying that it would go away. Towards the end of my senior year, though, I had to face that it was not going away. It was not a phase. And so at the beginning of my freshman year I started seeking out a way to reconcile that fact with my belief system, though I did continue to pray for change. The Internet was a good resource for discovering different perspectives on how to reconcile the two.
However, the thing that I was most affected by was what one might call a...mystical experience (others might say hallucination), which occurred while I was crying myself to sleep one night (a nightly occurrance at that point). In this experience, it was conveyed that I was not going to change, and that I was loved "as is." Whether paranormal communication or self-delusion, I have had a different perspective since that night. Which is not to say I never had/have doubts since that day. But it always bumps itself back up into memory, whenever I dwell on those doubts.
Do you think you've experienced any set-backs or injustices due to being gay?
I would say they are, for the most part, minimal in the sense I think you mean. I can't recall ever experiencing overt discrimination in a setting that had significant consequences (school, work, etc). Then again, I am judicious about who I come out to and when I do it. I would say the largest set-back was emotional immaturity due to repressing my sexuality through high school. I would say the largest injustice is the process and cost Allen and I will have to go through to gain only a semblance of the legality of a recognized marriage.
What's your favourite way to relax if you're stressed, or cheer yourself up if you're down?
In no particular order:
1) Read a good book or magazine
2) Play a good video game, or perhaps card/board game
3) Cuddle
4) Pet the cat
5) Cheesecake
Do you have any specific worries for the future which threaten to overwhelm you?
The vague worries me more than the specific, generally. I would say the biggest specific worry I've thought about recently is that if I die before Allen, what will happen to him. Because I don't think he'd deal with it well. But hopefully that's years down the line anyways, and it certainly doesn't overwhelm me to think about it. "Death" in a more general sense, yes, that does sometimes overwhelm...things like that. Curiousity about the unanswerable, perhaps.
Follow-up questions from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
firinel or others welcome.
Well, I have to say up front that I have not read extensively of Tertullian, Augustine, or Aquinas. Partly because traditional Baptists aren't too big on the Church Fathers or Natural Law, being more concerned with individual conscience than tradition, so I wasn't exposed to it growing up. Partly because by the time I was exposed to the ideas behind Natural Law-styled arguments, I had already formed my own ideas concerning a sexual ethic, and those arguments just didn't speak to that ethic or the world I live in.
As I recall, Tertullian is focused on monogamy to the point of believing remarriage after being widowed is wrong. Whereas Augustine & Aquinas pretty much say sex for any purpose other than procreation (even within a monogamous marital relationship) is serious sin. The root for all three of their beliefs on sexuality/marriage are based in the idea that sexuality is of the flesh and thus inherently tending towards sin, set in opposition to the spirit which strives towards holiness. Whereas I believe sexuality to be inherently part of one's spirit. So while it can be used in damaging ways, it is inherently a good.
So, basically, since I don't agree on a foundational level, I don't find their views on sexual morality very...relevant.
Was there a point at which you realised you were gay and you had a problem accepting that in conjunction with being Christian, or didn't you ever have an issue accepting both as nonconflicting states of being?
Oh, yes, definitely there has been a...tension between my Christian background and my sexuality since I realized I was attracted to the same sex. To this day, in a way, though I would say now that sexuality is only one rather small aspect of the larger picture, in terms of the tensions I experience. I don't see how it could be any other way, considering my religious background.
In high school I dealt with this tension by repressing my sexuality, writing it off as a phase, and often praying that it would go away. Towards the end of my senior year, though, I had to face that it was not going away. It was not a phase. And so at the beginning of my freshman year I started seeking out a way to reconcile that fact with my belief system, though I did continue to pray for change. The Internet was a good resource for discovering different perspectives on how to reconcile the two.
However, the thing that I was most affected by was what one might call a...mystical experience (others might say hallucination), which occurred while I was crying myself to sleep one night (a nightly occurrance at that point). In this experience, it was conveyed that I was not going to change, and that I was loved "as is." Whether paranormal communication or self-delusion, I have had a different perspective since that night. Which is not to say I never had/have doubts since that day. But it always bumps itself back up into memory, whenever I dwell on those doubts.
Do you think you've experienced any set-backs or injustices due to being gay?
I would say they are, for the most part, minimal in the sense I think you mean. I can't recall ever experiencing overt discrimination in a setting that had significant consequences (school, work, etc). Then again, I am judicious about who I come out to and when I do it. I would say the largest set-back was emotional immaturity due to repressing my sexuality through high school. I would say the largest injustice is the process and cost Allen and I will have to go through to gain only a semblance of the legality of a recognized marriage.
What's your favourite way to relax if you're stressed, or cheer yourself up if you're down?
In no particular order:
1) Read a good book or magazine
2) Play a good video game, or perhaps card/board game
3) Cuddle
4) Pet the cat
5) Cheesecake
Do you have any specific worries for the future which threaten to overwhelm you?
The vague worries me more than the specific, generally. I would say the biggest specific worry I've thought about recently is that if I die before Allen, what will happen to him. Because I don't think he'd deal with it well. But hopefully that's years down the line anyways, and it certainly doesn't overwhelm me to think about it. "Death" in a more general sense, yes, that does sometimes overwhelm...things like that. Curiousity about the unanswerable, perhaps.
Follow-up questions from
firinel or others welcome.
