muscadine: (Default)
[personal profile] muscadine
Blame [livejournal.com profile] marnanel:
Human Virus Scanner


Viruses you suffer from:

Pokemon
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!

TotL
Go read Brunching

Linux
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Sci-fi
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

Gaming
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.

Religion
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

British
No need for cure. Benign virus.

Discordia
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

Windows
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.

Politics
Stop caring!

Brand Names
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

Hippyism
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

Computer Games
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Conspiracy Theory
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Ultima
If you find one tell us.

Environmentalism
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh
Use a mouse with more than one button.


Viruses you might suffer from:

USA (80%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]

Free BSD (90%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.

Japan (85%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.

Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.

Cars (75%)
There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour.
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